


And To All A Good Night

by LaFemmeDarla, riordan10



Category: Addams Family (1991)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-21
Updated: 2009-12-21
Packaged: 2017-10-04 21:54:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/34510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaFemmeDarla/pseuds/LaFemmeDarla, https://archiveofourown.org/users/riordan10/pseuds/riordan10
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reunited in high school, things go as badly as imagined.  All characters have reached age of consent.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And To All A Good Night

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nev_longbottom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nev_longbottom/gifts).



> A nod to Shakespeare and Decimus Juvenal. (at beginning please)

"This can't be right," Morticia Addams said.

"It is, Mother," Wednesday said.

"I shall have to have a talk with your teacher," Morticia said. "Gomez, look at this." She held out a paper that Wednesday had brought home from Greenleaf Girl's Academy.

Gomez squinted. "A Christmas pageant? How exciting. I suppose they wish to borrow Lurch's battering ram or Fester's ear dagger?"

"No, dearest. They wish our Wednesday to be a..." but Morticia couldn't say it. She looked quite overcome.

Gomez squinted over Morticia's shoulder. "A sugar punk?"

"Plum," Wednesday said. "Father, I am to be a sugar plum."

"I shall call your teacher right away," Morticia said, but Wednesday shook her head.

"Mother, I am in high school now. I will handle this."

As Wednesday went up the staircase to her room, she heard her father say, appalled, "No boiling oil? No dynamite? No corpses?"

"I know, my Cherie," Morticia murmured. "These people simply do not understand Christmas."

Wednesday sat on her bed, thinking. She was certain this was Amanda Buckland's idea. She had been surprised to start grade nine at Greenleaf Girl's Academy and discover Amanda in her home room. She had not seen Amanda since summer camp long ago, and assumed (hoped) that the latter's parents had found some sort of Disneyed-military school for the blonde mosquito.

Beyond a daily sneer or two, Amanda had not bothered Wednesday. She'd gathered a willing group of blonde hangers-on and devoted her time to...well, Wednesday wasn't sure what Amanda had devoted her time to. As long as it was away from her, she was satisfied.

Unfortunately, every pupil in Mrs. Mortimer's home room had to take part in the Christmas pageant. Wednesday had volunteered to work the curtains. Mrs. Mortimer, perhaps worried about letting the Addams girl free rein backstage around ropes, had denied the request. She'd hinted something about painting sets. The sugar plum couldn't have been her idea.

Wednesday showed up for rehearsal. Amanda and her followers sat innocently in chairs in the front row of the auditorium. Wednesday went over to a girl known as Owl due to her thick glasses and weirdly-tipped ears. "What's your assignment?"

"I'm a sugar plum," Owl said happily.

"Hmm," Wednesday said. She further discovered that Dhwani (a Hindu perplexed by the Christmas pageant) and Macy (in a wheelchair) were also sugar plums.

"What about them?" Wednesday asked with a nod to Amanda and her gang.

"Amber, Destiny, and Tami are reindeer. Amanda's the wife," said Macy.

Mrs. Mortimer had chosen the poem by Clement Moore for the pageant. Wednesday was not surprised by Amanda's casting. She was unsure why the other three had agreed to be reindeer.

"What's the catch?" Wednesday asked.

Macy and Dhwani looked sober. Owl lost her smile.

Mrs. Mortimer called the class to order. "Sugar plums, over here please. Reindeer, over there to wait your cue. Amanda, you'll start in the centre of the stage."

The first rehearsal was tedious, but Wednesday watched carefully. Amanda and a tall girl, Didi, were the couple springing to the window. Santa would be played by a student borrowed from the neighbouring boy's academy. Mrs. Mortimer stood in for him as she read the poem. The sugar plums stood at the back after being asked to dance past the head of the bed (a dance none of them were inclined to do. They simply moved to the back, where Mrs. Mortimer, thankfully, forgot about them.)

The reindeer stayed at the front of the stage and were given a song to themselves, a song written by Amanda and involving an elaborate kind of ballet. Mamma, in her kerchief, would join them in the chorus. Wednesday was doubtful though. It didn't seem enough. Sure, the reindeer got to show off, but why make her and the others come on stage at all?

Succeeding rehearsals didn't bring any other clues except one...the sugar plum costumes were always 'on their way' but never actually in sight. They didn't appear until the night of the pageant.

They were hideous. Bright purple, frilly, with petticoats and sequins in places no one ever thought of before. They were also made with an odd material Wednesday thought she should be able to recognize. Dhwani didn't have enough bust to fill her top, which hung slack. Owl couldn't get the dress on without scratching her glasses. Macy couldn't see over her petticoats.

"This is awful," Macy said from somewhere within the frills.

"It is, but it isn't enough," Wednesday said. The curtains were still drawn. She went out onto the stage where the sugar plums were to stand, and looked up.

A faint gleam caught her eye.

"What is it?" Owl asked, looking up as well.

"A bucket," Dhwani said.

"Not very imaginative," Wednesday said. She looked at the others. It was her eyes that were gleaming now. "We can do much better."

The boy borrowed from the boy's academy to play Santa was gullible. It was not only easy to get him to go up to get the bucket, but also to get him to empty out the white glue and pink glitter it contained, and refill it with something less uninspired. He repositioned it and came down from the catwalk.

And, unfortunately for him, Cousin Itt was waiting below.

The pageant began. Amanda and Didi sprang out of bed and rushed to the window. The reindeer began their dance. Wednesday nodded at Santa whose white beard and red suit were now somewhat askew over long brown hair that went from head to foot.

Mrs. Mortimer blinked at the three-foot high Santa. That was all she had time to do. The reindeer and Amanda were in position. There was a suspicious-looking rope in Santa's hands. He pulled, a clink sounded, and then a long trail of something black fell from the catwalk above.

Oddly, at the last second, Amanda danced nimbly away. The tar hit Amber and Destiny in the antlers. Tami's high heels slid in the splatter, but Mrs. Mortimer (in the place where Amanda had stood only a moment before) received the full brunt. She toppled under the weight and fell off the stage.

Amanda, continuing her dance and picking up the reindeer song, sidled close to Wednesday. Amanda finished the final chorus, took a prolonged bow, and whispered, "I knew you'd find the bucket. That was just put there for show."

Wednesday smiled. "I know."

That took Amanda aback, but only until she noticed the principal in the wings, waving frantically. Amanda smiled and said brightly, "The show must go on."

Taking centre stage, she called out, "Now Dasher, now Dancer, now Prancer and Vixen!"

It was the second reindeer cue. Amber, Tami, and Destiny struggled forward. Laden with tar, they didn't really have the heart for anything more, but one look from Amanda and they broke quickly into song.

Wednesday leaned towards Macy, Owl, and Dhwani. "We have not yet begun. Death to the enemies of the people of the Republic."

A little later, Didi, who had nothing to do now that she had 'sprung' to the window sill, was the first to notice the odd, sweet-smelling liquid oozing in a fine stream from backstage. She glanced at it curiously, and then followed it back to see where it was coming from.

Her first thought was, why are the sugar plums off-stage? Her second thought was, what's in the box that Dhwani is holding?

She didn't have time for a third thought. Dhwani had opened the box.

The reindeer screamed first. Then came yells from the audience, especially those in the front row for the stream of liquid had reached them too. Wednesday, her head cocked to one side, waited patiently, and was at last rewarded with the sound she most wanted to hear. Amanda's scream went louder and higher than anyone else's.

Owl grinned. "Wednesday, you're the only person I know whose family brings honey and locusts to a Christmas pageant."

"The locusts were for something else," Wednesday said.

The swarm of insects had finished the honey on stage and were now flying through the audience. People were running in panic, swatting feebly and landing more blows on each other than on the darting, whirling tornado. Wednesday strolled onto the stage, basking in the chaos, Owl, Dhwani, and Macy behind her. The reindeer were in a huddled, crying mass by the destroyed window sill set. Didi was hanging onto a tattered curtain, eyes wide in horror.

But Amanda wasn't there.

Wednesday looked around and noticed a ladder. She looked to the top just as Amanda flicked a small lighter and held it up under the fire alarm.

The sprinklers turned on with a whoosh. In the sudden drenching, Wednesday belatedly realized what material had been used to make the sugar plum costumes.

Toilet paper, even purple-dyed toilet paper, disintegrates in contact with water. In a matter of seconds, the sugar plums were down to their last petticoat.

Dhwani screamed and tried to cover herself. Owl looked shocked, as if she couldn't quite believe what was happening. Macy huddled in her chair.

But Wednesday stood proudly. "My great aunt Calpurnia danced naked in her village and enslaved a minister," she said. "My grandmother incited a mob and was burned naked at a stake. We will not bow our heads in shame."

The other three stared at her. Then Dhwani let her arms go to her side. Owl, trembling, raised her chin. Macy began to smile.

"It is time to dance the Mamushka," Wednesday said. She stepped towards the edge of the stage. "She hath disgraced me, and laughed at my losses, scorned my nation, and heated mine enemies. But I still stand. Prick us! Do we bleed? Poison us! Do we die? Wrong us! Shall we not revenge? The villainy you teach me, I will execute, and it shall go hard but I will better the instruction, for revenge is sweeter than life itself."

She raised her hands and began a slow dance, clapping rhythmically. Owl was the next to join, and then Dhwani, following the steps. The three girls danced around Macy, picking up speed. Macy began slapping the sides of her chair, the metal echoing through the theatre with a hypnotic beat.

Amanda, picking locusts from her mangled hair, watched in bewilderment. She glanced at the audience, some of whom were picking up the beat, clapping and swaying with the impromptu dance, but her attention was soon drawn back to the stage as a twinkle of metal caught her eye.

Wednesday had moved beside the three-foot high Santa who had withdrawn a thin sword from somewhere within his...Amanda blinked...his brown-hair covered body.

Wednesday took the sword, twirling it gracefully as she and the other sugar plums continued their dance. Their movements were intensifying, their feet pounding the stage so hard that it trembled. The audience shouted, encouraging the wild show before them. They were on their feet, clapping in time, calling for more and more.

The sword flashed in the lights, and all Amanda could see was it drawing closer. The dance became a frenzy, a mad whirl of movement and deafening noise. Terrified, Amanda froze.

Wednesday screamed, "MAMUSHKA!" The blade came down.

And neatly sliced Amanda's clothes. Her two thousand dollar gown fell in pieces to the floor, but Wednesday's aim had been even better than that. While cutting through the gown, the sword touched Amanda's skin, so gently that it felt like a caress. It didn't break the skin, but the message was clear.

In the aftermath, in the sudden cease of the dance and the abrupt, ensuing silence, Wednesday looked at Amanda, cocked one eyebrow, and slowly, horribly, happily smiled.

Amanda returned the look for half a second.

Then she screamed. It was a scream of pure terror. Wednesday stood, ecstatic, as Amanda ran howling from the stage.

Wednesday turned. Owl, Dhwani, and Macy were with her, their faces gratified and proud.

"Sweeter than life," Dhwani said.

Macy nodded. "But there's one thing left to do."

And so it ended with three tar-covered reindeer pulling Macy's wheelchair to the front of the stage as if it were a sleigh, Owl, Dhwani, and Wednesday in their wake.

"Merry Christmas to all," Wednesday said.

The other three finished, "And to all a good night."

The audience cheered. Morticia and Gomez, standing in the middle of the mayhem, smiled smiles of serene satisfaction and clapped the hardest of all.


End file.
